Transformational Love

Last month I completed my Positive Psychology program. On the last day, my teacher shared a quote with us that has transformed my mind and heart. It reads: “Accepting someone exactly as there are, and as they are not, is the possibility of love.”

I have been reflecting on this and realized how this is really the true definition of unconditional love, God’s love, and with this mindset of love, it cannot fail. I saw myself quite often, practicing love in ways that accept others as they are, but I assess what they are not and then try to “help” them in those areas, according to a standard that comes from within myself. This has proved to be frustrating and and can lead to performance driven relationships in romance, parenting and friendships.

I have realized that it is love that empowers change, change that is genuine and true and sprouted from the soil of acceptance and love. It actually can take longer to bear fruit, but the fruit is organic, nutrient rich and delicious. This kind of love never let’s go, because the view of the other person is not from the lens of what needs to change, but from the lens of beauty of heart and soul. The desire for change comes from their own heart that is flooded by love, affirmation and encouragement.

It brings freedom into the relationship and growth that can be surprising! I also asked myself the question, have I loved myself like this, or do I constantly look at what I am not, compare and “crack the whip” to do better, be better, look better?” It has led to a false and overwhelming relationship with myself. Now, I can be free to be real, see myself as God sees me and this love compels me to move forward, grow, accept challenges and pick myself up when I fall, laugh and start over. I truly feel this is what our world craves. Love that never fails, love that transforms and love that never ends.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:8